Silenced in the name of God

In my childhood home, obedience was mandatory and questioning authority was a sin.We were a traditional Mormon family who had devoted our lives to the church. We attended all the activities, read our scriptures, and said our prayers daily. My parents homeschooled us and we owned a successful family business. We were happy and welcoming to those in our community. At least, while people were looking.My father is brilliant, patient, and strategic. He used our beliefs, culture, and his unquestionable priesthood authority to cover up the mental and sexual abuse that was rampant behind closed doors. He filled our home with fear, panic, control, and manipulation. If I told anyone about the abuse, then our family would be destroyed, and it would be my fault. A heavy burden for a seven-year-old.The church taught that if I could be worthy, then God would make my family whole. He had the power to help my father become a good man so that we could all live in heaven for eternity. I followed the rules, paid my dues, and devoted my life to God as I desperately held onto this belief into adulthood.I didn’t understand that I could never be worthy enough for their God. Read more